hmmm…
One year ago I was diagnosed with heart disease and a poor prognosis by two cardiologists. I had swelling in my legs and as a NP, I knew this was not good. I spent the next 6 months being evaluated and tested by 4 cardiologists and asked for 2 to give me their opinions. Both stated they did not know what was causing the problems, but they would progress. One said I had 2 years to live and the 2nd said I had 4 years. I am not seeking sympathy here and after one year I can honestly say I am healthier and happier than I was in 2019. Has my prognosis changed? No, but my life has changed.
I won’t say the grave news was the best thing that happened to me since the first six months after diagnosis were terrifying, but I know my life now has transformed into a happier and more exciting life. I knew I had 2 choices. I could either let the bad news take over and become depressed and bed-ridden, or I could re-group and make a plan for my remaining years. It did not happen overnight, but after several months of grieving the loss of my old life, I decided to start over.
No Fear
Now, just to interject a very important point. Three months after my diagnosis, I sought alternative treatment through a hypnotherapist trained in QHHT therapy. I was not sure if I would get anything out of that treatment, but it took away my fear of death! It’s been nearly 8 months since that treatment, and the fear of death is still completely gone! I am not giving advice, but merely stating my results.
Key Questions
I asked myself a couple of key questions. Was I happy with my current life? What did I really want to do with my remaining time on earth? Without hesitation, I knew I had to step down from my current job as a family nurse practitioner. I had spent nearly 6 years in 4 different positions as a FNP that were extremely demanding, long hours and low pay for the amount of time I had to put into seeing patients/family, reviewing labs, ordering medications, charting, let alone all the driving as a mobile FNP, and so on. I felt unappreciated and sometimes abused by patients and too often the patient’s family.
I have traveled a bit in my life working as a flight attendant, traveling nurse and living in Indonesia with my husband at the time when I was in my late 20’s. While I would travel on holiday and vacation as a RN/FNP, it really was only 2 times a year. Often, I was so exhausted from my job, that I spent a lot of time sleeping and recovering on my vacation only to have a few days of real enjoyable travel and leisure. Deep in my soul, I knew that I wanted and deserved more out of life.
2nd Opinion
So, the day I got my 2nd opinion, I gave my notice, and that is a decision I do not regret. My job did not cause my heart disease, but that level of stress was not helping me either. I was following a fair diet and exercise program prior to my diagnosis, but I really became much more disciplined after doing research. I modified my diet—following a low carb/Keto diet, very little alcohol, daily meditation, and moderate exercise walking, cycling, weight-training 5-6 days per week. I have dropped 1 dress size and have more strength and muscle definition than I did in my 40’s. My energy level is very good considering fatigue is a major side effect to my heart condition.
Diet, Exercise, Meditation
The sad thing about my 4 cardiologists is not one discussed diet, exercise or meditation as part of my treatment plan! The whole focus was medication, more testing and the possibility of a pacemaker and then a heart transplant. This is still the Western treatment, and in my opinion very obsolete and incomplete.
I have always been an athlete and really want my remaining years to be filled with activity and travel and the energy to enjoy all those things.
Joanie actively staying more healthy with daily stretching and yoga, along with mindful meditation.
Decisions
I decided to step back from healthcare career altogether when I could not find part-time or telemedicine work. Scott had been setting up 2 websites and eventually an online store for us. Our future plan was to work online any where in the world and spend my remaining time traveling while I still have the health and desire.
We had talked about traveling more and cutting back on work, but I wasn’t certain if he really wanted to do this or if he was just appeasing me. I am happy to say that he has been an excellent traveler! We spent 15 days in Costa Rica and driving the countryside, as well as, a month-long trek in Portugal during the winter doing a house-sit! He has handled many strange and uncertain situations with grace and humor!
Travel
There are many reasons for travel or moving overseas. We both want to live in a place where the cost of living is less and the healthcare is good. I have become very disenchanted with the healthcare system in the USA and American attitudes and culture. Unfortunately, I was refused insurance in the USA due to my heart and am still awaiting if I qualify for disability insurance. (BTW, since this “publication” I was denied disability insurance…thanks so much…but, in two weeks, the IRS wants…) I may pay higher rates in other countries, but I can still get coverage or pay out of pocket which is much more affordable than the USA.
I made the decision to tell close friends and family my diagnosis/prognosis. I wanted everyone to understand why I had suddenly stepped down from my job and why I was making plans to travel. Some of the toughest conversations took place during this time. I have gotten closer to family and friends over this time, but several have been very vocal about their disapproval of my decisions.
Opinions
Everyone has a right to their opinion, and it is funny to me that some will state their outright disapproval. I got this in the beginning and again as the COVID-19 virus has impacted the world. In the past, being a people-pleaser and seeking approval was just part of me and my DNA. But, one of the many gifts that have emerged from a life-threatening disease is you get very real about what is important to you right now. I am not here to please you and seek your love. I am merely telling you of my plans. That is really liberating!
Make it Count
This illness has made me very focused and deliberate in my actions and time. I may not have the luxury of time and I have limited funds, so I want both to really count. I am now living the life I want to live on my terms. It is not at all perfect. I still have doubt at times, but I take one step at a time and one day at a time. Courage is feeling the fear, but taking a chance anyway. I want a life full of adventure and fun. That comes with risk and failure. I would rather have a shorter life full of fun and uncertainty than a long dull life of safety. It’s only life after all, so why take it so seriously?
